S(HE) equality

In the recent years a lot of events have occurred in the whole word and in our country. Most discussions have happened on “equality”, in all its aspect. And “gender equality” tops the priority. In all this, I stand confused at certain times, when the moot point gets blurred.

When we say “gender equality”, I understand we most definitely are talking about both male and female equality and not just one. But when the balance gets lost, I am left confused. May be until this point even you are baffled, what I exactly want to convey. So, let me help you with some simple questions that itches my brain more often.

Please take care to understand that all the examples/questions that I am about to express below, is my personal perception (which may be correct or incorrect) taking into consideration events happening in the society around us. I do not want to convey that I am right. In fact, it’s more of a discussion with you.

Say, a daughter asks her parents to wear trousers. Her parents deny citing infinite reasons. This conversation in a hypothetical scenario gets leaked out. It becomes a sensational news headline. There is a panel discussion.

What do you think would be the outcome of this situation?

Conservative parents?

Parents who curb the rights of their daughters?

Will everyone pour in comments stating the daughter should be allowed to wear trousers?

Now let’s make a few changes to the above scene.

Say, a daughter son asks her his parents to wear trousers skirts. Her His parents deny citing infinite reasons. This conversation in a hypothetical scenario gets leaked out. It becomes a sensational news headline. There is a panel discussion.

What do you think would be the outcome of this situation?

Conservative parents?

Parents who curb the rights of their daughters sons?

Will everyone pour in comments stating the daughter son should be allowed to wear trousers skirts?

Or

Will it be mocked at?

I never get an answer to this. If you get one, please help me out.

If you could delve a little further with me, I have few other questions.

Why is motherhood celebrated more than fatherhood? I personally feel its parenthood that needs to be celebrated.

Why is the 9 months extra connection of the fetus with the mother always cited as a reason for putting the mother a notch higher than the father? It’s not his fault if biologically a father is not structured to carry a fetus. But does that anyway lessen his connection with the fetus. For me, both the parents are equally connected with the fetus.

How many companies in our country or elsewhere allow fathers to take paid 3 months of paternal leave on birth of a child? If any company is doing so, I appreciate that deeply. Both parents need time with the new born. Both parents have to take care of the new born. So both need the leaves.

So, are we not missing out on equality here?

A female wearing a male wristband is perceived normal. So, will it be perceived in the same manner if a male wears bangles?

When a female works in office and does household work, a lot of appreciation goes her way for maintaining the balance. When a male does the household work, why is he labelled henpecked (“joru ka gulam”)?

When a female slaps a male, the blame of wrongdoing goes to the male. When a male slaps a female, wait, again the same happens. Why?

Why an aggressive female is not accepted easily while a male is?

Why is the art of cooking still a default expectation from a female?

Why a girl is considered ill-mannered if she laughs loudly while a male can?

Will it be okay to gift Barbie to a baby boy and action hero to a baby girl?

Isn't the equality getting unbalanced in these cases?

                                                                                    

I am a female. If I want gender  equality, I do not want any male to open the door for me to go first or pull the chair for me or leave a seat for me in the bus ( Unless I have reached senior citizen category) . And if he does, I would also do the same for him. I expect every human to respect the other. I could have completed my engineering from the same college even without a women quota seat but I did not. And I regret that as I think I supported inequality.

May be few have achieved equality but many haven’t. I am not starting any male/female-power campaign here.  I am, very politely putting forward certain questions that bog me about gender equality. How do I exactly express this equality to my next generation?  I do understand that biologically, both the genders have been created different. What would define that the distinct difference in genders is maintained along with equality?

I know these are too many questions. I will try to find answers too.  I just feel cliches about both genders needs to be eradicated. Only then we can achieve true equality of genders.

In my conclusion, I would like to quote what the current United Nations Women Goodwill Ambassador, Miss Emma Watson, rightly stated;

“If men don't have to be aggressive to be accepted, women won't be compelled to be submissive.”