I, son/daughter, was born and everyone was happy. Each one of you celebrated my homecoming after 9 long months. I grew and you captured every moment of me growing into a self sustained human being. You all felt happy. I, daughter/son, was taught to speak my heart always, to be headstrong and stand out from the crowd, to place my viewpoint clearly and respectfully, to live life independently on my own terms. Daughter/son, I learnt the teachings religiously. I believed inherently in the preachings.
Then when I started to thrive independently, be headstrong and spoke my viewpoint clearly yet respectfully, you judged me. The moment my views disagreed with yours, you judged me.My lifestyle alienated from yours, you judged me. My expectations stood independently for my own ambitions, you judged me.
Selfish,disobedient,disrespectful,unaffectionate,uncaring,unconcerned and most importantly, uncultured.You not just judged me, you labelled me too with these as a prefix or suffix.
I was taught to state my views but never told it should always agree with yours. So how am I disobedient or disrespectful? I was taught to be independent and I strive for my own ambitions. So how am I uncaring or unconcerned about you? I was taught to speak my heart always. So how am I uncultured ? I can't sacrifice the way you do or did. And that's me, daughter/son. So how am I selfish ?
You keep judging my every move and every talk. You keep weighing and comparing me with the 'you' at my age. And if that was not enough, there is the society,friends,relatives,spouse,employer to judge me, man/woman, on your behalf or for their own self. I am struggling in this weird juggle of survival. I have taken that pressure already. I am boxing with expectations of my own. Then why this pressure of behaving in a certain way with people who are my own? Where is that Constitutional protocol that lays out the framework to be considered good,only a particular way, in any relation ? The way I, man/woman, desire to behave without being disrespectful, why is not that an alternate option ?
With all these consistent judging, the moment I think 'only' about myself, I feel guilty and not happy. But I desire to be happy. You desire, I should be happy. At least when I am alive, let me be me. When I cross that finish line of life, judge me. Judge me, if I was a good daughter/son,brother/sister,wife/husband,son/daughter(in-law),sister/brother(in-law),relative,friend,employee,boss,citizen or nothing.And if you can, dig up my grave or search in my ashes to judge me whether I died good.
NB : I have been judged for my behaviour. I have judged others on their behaviour. I am no pious soul. I confess.I am ashamed.Will I be able to correct it? I can try. But for a moot point, what if this vicious thing never happened at all ?
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
WOW Prompt (June 6 - 7)- "The Finish Line"
Background Image Credits - Google Images
Article © Copyright Salvwi Prasad
Then when I started to thrive independently, be headstrong and spoke my viewpoint clearly yet respectfully, you judged me. The moment my views disagreed with yours, you judged me.My lifestyle alienated from yours, you judged me. My expectations stood independently for my own ambitions, you judged me.
Selfish,disobedient,disrespectful,unaffectionate,uncaring,unconcerned and most importantly, uncultured.You not just judged me, you labelled me too with these as a prefix or suffix.
I was taught to state my views but never told it should always agree with yours. So how am I disobedient or disrespectful? I was taught to be independent and I strive for my own ambitions. So how am I uncaring or unconcerned about you? I was taught to speak my heart always. So how am I uncultured ? I can't sacrifice the way you do or did. And that's me, daughter/son. So how am I selfish ?
You keep judging my every move and every talk. You keep weighing and comparing me with the 'you' at my age. And if that was not enough, there is the society,friends,relatives,spouse,employer to judge me, man/woman, on your behalf or for their own self. I am struggling in this weird juggle of survival. I have taken that pressure already. I am boxing with expectations of my own. Then why this pressure of behaving in a certain way with people who are my own? Where is that Constitutional protocol that lays out the framework to be considered good,only a particular way, in any relation ? The way I, man/woman, desire to behave without being disrespectful, why is not that an alternate option ?
With all these consistent judging, the moment I think 'only' about myself, I feel guilty and not happy. But I desire to be happy. You desire, I should be happy. At least when I am alive, let me be me. When I cross that finish line of life, judge me. Judge me, if I was a good daughter/son,brother/sister,wife/husband,son/daughter(in-law),sister/brother(in-law),relative,friend,employee,boss,citizen or nothing.And if you can, dig up my grave or search in my ashes to judge me whether I died good.
NB : I have been judged for my behaviour. I have judged others on their behaviour. I am no pious soul. I confess.I am ashamed.Will I be able to correct it? I can try. But for a moot point, what if this vicious thing never happened at all ?
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
WOW Prompt (June 6 - 7)- "The Finish Line"
Background Image Credits - Google Images
Article © Copyright Salvwi Prasad
True :) The judges around us always causing trouble for anyone who chooses to be different!
ReplyDeleteI agree Teny. In fact I am the victim and the culprit at the same time. Yet this thought always bugs me. So decided to share and discuss. May we I will get a better solution to it. :). And luckily Blogadda's WOW prompt conjugated with my thought.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
That's a thoughtful write up... and sadly, most often true. (I never knew the poetic bug has been writing here :D Time to catch up with lots here too then :) )
ReplyDeleteHi Shashank,
DeleteThank you for your kind words.
This is the first blog I started. POETICbug is an extension of this blog at a later stage where I concentrated all my focus for the last 2 years. So its time for me also to give a little attention to my first blog. :)